Media Dump!

The Lady got a 2 week trial to Netflix in the mail. I signed up with my credit card, even though I think they may have a month trial available.  Last time I had Netflix, it was 2004 and streaming video didn't exist.  However, it had its own beneficial outcomes.

Here's what I've watched so far:



Nightwatching
Chances are you haven't heard of Peter Greenaway.  You also have not heard of any of his films.  Even though I am in the habit of watching them, they generally disengage me halfway through.  Aesthetically, they're great.  The stories are usually not captivating.  Style over substance to a degree with which Soderbergh can't compete.  HOWEVA.  Nightwatching tells the tale of Rembrandt's path toward painting The Night Watch, followed by conspiracies and accusations hidden in the painting.  If you wish that The Da Vinci Code had intelligence, this is that movie.  It is long though, with a lot of dialogue that leads nowhere interesting.  The best parts involve the Night Watch patrons and their discontent toward the painter.

Scene from the movie

The actual painting

Incredibly, as one can say with any Greenaway film, every frame of the movie could be put onto canvas and admired.  General opinion states that any Kubrick-filmed scene has this potential also.  I disagree and think that it only applies to a few of Kubrick's movies.

Entire scenes resemble oil on canvas

6.5 film-maker obsessions out of 10

The Trouble with Harry
A Hitchcock dark comedy. Not one of Hichcock's better known movies to the non-phile or Herrmann lover, it's one of the few of his that was intended solely as a comedy. It's about a small town who discovers a dead guy. Turns out they all knew him in some way, and all think that they killed him. It's somewhat dull. Watch it if only on a Hitchcock-completion mission.

"You're not supposed to bury bodies whenever you find them. It makes people suspicious."

5 director cameos out of 10.

Not soon enough

Altered States
A movie I missed when it was on Cinemax every Friday night in the late 90's, and then missed again while in college (even though internet friends all suggested it to me based on my movie preferences).  Finally, I watched it, and thought it was pretty decent but wholly surreal.  It feels like Cronenberg, but dismisses biological horror in exchange for wild stock footage and trippy effects.  Certainly worth a viewing on a day you want to take some visual LSD.

 "There's a physiological pathway to our earlier consciousnesses. There has to be, and I'm telling you it's in the goddamned limbic system."

8 psychotropes out of 10

Wise fwom youw gwave!  Oh, wait...

Whatever Works
Woody Allen and Larry David team up for double the self-loathing New York Jew.  Larry plays the Woody Allen-role of a misanthropic, [self-proclaimed] genius who begrudgingly takes a homeless runaway into his quarters.  She lacks any world view or street smarts, and takes a liking to Larry.  The movie's theme revolves around doing "whatever works" and finding some enjoyment in the otherwise worthless experience that is life.  Ebert's review is dead-on.  Please note that I'm a Woody fan and apologist.

How many people have a "role" named after them?  The "Woody Allen-role" has been played by Cusack, Branaugh, and now David.  Claude Makelele is the other "role" that I know of to have an eponymous association.

"The minute a person dies, oh, "he was a smoker.  he's overweight".  Thin non-smokers die too.  Abstinence isn't going to save you."

7 amusing lines out of 10.

Class of Nuke 'Em High
A "classic" Troma film from 1986, this plotless number pales in comparison to The Toxic Avenger (or part IV) and Tromeo and Juliet, two other movies in the "classic" Troma catalog helmed by Lloyd Kaufman.  By classic, I refer to the first generation of Troma, although "Tromeo and Juliet" may be too far forward to be considered in the original, "classic" era.  Who knows, who cares.
If you haven't seen a Troma film and have no idea what that term means... then you're not a movie nerd (don't claim to be one).  Or at least try to watch The Toxic Avenger or Tromeo and Juliet.
Nuke 'Em High was made in the late 80's, before the internet and Netflix could put Troma out to mass-audiences.  More or less, a nuclear plant next to Tromaville High starts leaching chemicals into the water, and the kids mutate physically, mentally, or both.  People attack people and give Team Troma a chance to show off its visual gag ability.  I couldn't really get into it.
3 goth punks out of 10.

Typical goth punk found in a Troma movie

Troma's War
I consider Terror Firmer to be the capitulating work in the oeuvre of Lloyd Kaufman/Troma.  They consider "Troma's War" to be the masterpiece.  With any Troma movie, the first ten minutes inform you whether or not you want to continue.  If you're immediately bored (like Class of Nuke 'Em High above), watch something else.
"Troma's War" responds to Red Dawn, Rambo, and other 80's action movies by reducing the plot, only slightly, and increasing the graphic violence and duration of action scenes.  The plot consists of a group of plane-crash survivors who land on an island.  On this island are a group of rebellious guerilla troops who have a goal of spreading AIDS to America.  The group (including a guy who looks like Ben Roethlisberger) fights against the guerillas, who include the creepy "Senor SIDA", a commander who has a pig nose (complete with snorting), and... these two guys who are behind the whole thing.

I wholly recommend it.  It has a good amount of the standard Troma cheese (acting, jokes), the typical amount of Troma violence, a Commando-level body count, and horrible 80's synth action music.  Although one piece sounded similar to Jan Hammer...

"We're not dead until I say we're dead!"

7.5 gratuitous nude scenes out of 10.